Where the Love Light Gleams
by MinimizeYourself
Summary: In which the death of Nick's father sheds a whole new light on the meaning of the word "home." Story 2 in Troubled Water 'Verse.


**A/N: Hey, I decided to turn ****"I Should Tell You, I'm Disaster" into a 'verse! Yay! I haven't come up with a name for it yet, though. Ideas? I'd love to here some!**

**Title comes from "I'll Be Home For Christmas" because I'm cheesy.**

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Glee.**

* * *

><p>It's a week until Christmas when they find his father's body.<p>

Laura Sterling tiptoes into Jeff's room early that morning and shakes Nick awake. He's been staying with them over a month, and she has stopped questioning how often he falls asleep in Jeff's bed, and he supposes Jeff told her about the nightmares. She's holding the house phone in one hand and muffling the mouthpiece with the other.

"Nick," she whispers as he presses the heals of his hands to his eyes, squinting in the dim light of Jeff's bedroom. "Nick, it's your mom," she says, holding out the phone to him.

He stares. "What does she want?" He sits up and crosses his legs carefully so as not to wake Jeff, who's still sleeping soundly next to him.

"She didn't say," Laura says. He can tell she's lying by the worried, almost sympathetic look on her face. He timidly takes the phone from her hand and presses it to his ear.

"Hello?" he asks, expecting to hear his mother begging him to come home. He's fully prepared to reject her, too. But when she doesn't immediately respond, he tries again. "Mom, are you there?"

"Oh, Nick." She pauses for a long time. "Your father is dead," she chokes out sobbing heavily on the other end of the line. He just listens, waiting to hear all the gory details she's sure to give. But she doesn't say anything. She just cries, perhaps expecting him to cry with her.

You know, as if he deserves to be mourned.

Nick hangs up the phone, passing it back to Laura. She meets his gaze. "What did she say?"

"I know you know," he replies. She sighs, nodding sheepishly. She leans over to kiss the top of his head, stroking his hair lightly and taking the phone from his hand. She closes the door with a soft click.

He exhales with a shudder, flopping back onto the bed and immediately regretting it when Jeff stirs next to him. He rolls over onto his side, kicking the covers off and grasping at Nick's wrist.

He opens one eye, focusing on Nick's face in the dim, blue light. He tilts his head down and rests their foreheads together. He exhales softly. "Mornin'," he mumbles softly, nuzzling Nick's cheek with his own.

"Shh, go back to sleep," Nick chides softly. "It's early."

Jeff nods drowsily. "M'kay. Love you."

Nick pecks him on the lips quickly. "I love you."

* * *

><p>When he wakes again, he's alone. The digital clock is flashing 10:56, and Jeff's side of the bed is empty. He runs a hand through his hair and yawns, stumbling sleepily down the stairs.<p>

In the living room, Jenna is lounging on the couch and flipping through channels, complaining about the crap on daytime TV, and Jeff is sitting cross-legged in an armchair, flipping through the pages of a worn book.

"Hey, Nicky-Bear," Jenna says, using her old nickname for him.

"Morning, Jenna-Bug," he replies with a little smile.

"We saved you some waffles," she says, nodding towards the kitchen.

"Aw, you guys must really love me or something." He crosses over to Jeff and presses a quick kiss to his forehead. "Why didn't you wake me up?" They've gotten into this routine where Jeff shakes him awake every morning and bounces around the room until his forcefully drags Nick out of bed.

"I thought I'd let you sleep in a little while. You seemed like you could use it."

And then Nick knows that they know, because Jenna isn't making fun of his bedhead, and Jeff let him sleep until eleven o'clock, and it's way too quiet, and it's like everyone is suddenly walking on eggshells around him.

He doesn't like it.

He stands in the kitchen, piling waffles onto a plate, and he feels Jeff's arms snake around his waist. Jeff hooks his chin over Nick's shoulder and presses his lips firmly to Nick's neck.

"I heard what happened," he mumbles into the crook of Nick's neck.

Nick nods. "I thought you did." He walks them into the dining room, and Jeff sits down beside him.

"Are you gonna be okay?" he asks concernedly, lacing their fingers together in Nick's lap.

Nick nods again. "Yes. Don't you worry about me." He lifts their hands and kisses Jeff's knuckles and releases his hand, and he pretends not to notice when Jeff steals a strip of his bacon.

* * *

><p>Jeff worries about him anyway. He doesn't know how a person is supposed to react when their abusive father dies, but he's pretty sure they shouldn't be as calm and collected as Nick is.<p>

He tries to get Nick to talk more about it all morning and afternoon, even though he insists he's fine and he doesn't _need_ to talk about anything.

He's just about to casually bring it up again when his parents enter the living room, bundled in winter coats. "Ladies and gentlemen and Jeff," his dad says, "we are going Christmas shopping. Put your coats on, and Jenna, try to look civilized." Jenna scowls at him, pulling a knit hat over her unwashed hair.

"It's Christmas break," she mumbles quietly to herself. "No one said I'd be going out in public."

The five of them pile into Mrs. Sterling's car, and Jeff wedges in between Nick and Jenna in the backseat to rest his head on Nick's shoulder.

"Can I drive?" Jenna asks. Mr. Sterling just laughs.

Mrs. Sterling hands them all roughly forty dollars once they arrive at the mall, and she sets them free to shop independently. Jenna goes off on her own, muttering something about Hot Topic and giant pretzels, while Jeff hurriedly drags Nick into the first store he sees. Nick smiles a little at his enthusiasm.

"So I have a proposal for you," Jeff says while Nick judges an array of ugly holiday-themed sweaters.

"Yes?" Nick replies, not looking up from the clothes rack.

"Okay," Jeff starts, rubbing his hands together, "if I promise to trust you when you tell me nothing is wrong, will you promise to tell me when something_ is_ wrong?"

Nick sighs a little and slowly meets Jeff's gaze. "I suppose that's only fair. So yes, I will." Jeff's lips curl upwards.

"Also, there's one more thing I have to tell you," Jeff says.

"What is it?"

"I love you."

Nick brushes his fingertips against the back of Jeff's hand. "I know you do." He then holds up a particularly ugly olive green sweater. "I think we should get this for Jenna, don't you think?" he jokes.

Only if you want to be castrated in your sleep." Jeff tugs him away from the sweaters and out of the store. "Speaking of Jenna, you should go track her down and make sure she's doing something productive. I have some things to take care of on my own."

"Ooo, are you buying me presents?"

"Damn, you've figured it out."

* * *

><p>That night after dinner they're curled around each other in Jeff's bed, Nick's fingers twined in the silky strands of Jeff's hair while Jeff mouths at his neck. Jeff sighs contentedly into his skin, but Nick's mind is elsewhere.<p>

"Jeff?" he says, and Jeff hums in response. "Jeff, look at me," he says louder, and Jeff kisses hot and open-mouthed just below his jaw. "Come on." He grips Jeff's hair and pulls his head away.

"What is it?" Jeff asks breathlessly.

"Remember how we agreed I would tell you when something is wrong?" He drops his hands from Jeff's hair and sits up, crossing his legs in front of him."

"Yeah, I remember. Why?" he asks, furrowing his brow.

"Well, something's wrong." Nick says.

"What happened?" Jeff asks anxiously. Nick doesn't reply, so he grabs both of Nick's hands in his own. "Nicky, what happened?"

Nick sighs and strokes his thumbs over the backs of Jeff's hands. "My mom called again while we were at the mall. She wants me to come to his funeral in a few days. She said it would 'make her really happy' if I did," he scoffs.

"Oh, sweetheart," Jeff whispers, and he leans his forehead against Nick's temple. Nick closes his eyes and leans into Jeff, breathing in the sweet scent of Jeff's cologne, and he turns to wrap his arms around Jeff's shoulders.

Jeff runs a hand down Nick's back, smoothing over the ridges of his spine and coming the rest on the small of his back. "You don't have to go," he tells Nick softly.

"I know," Nick replies.

"Then what's wrong?" Nick pulls back and stares down at his lap.

"I just..." he takes a deep breath, "I can't believe she even _asked_ me to come, you know? Especially after what he did! I mean, God, what is wrong with them?" He blinks back hot tears and swallows the huge lump in his throat because _he is definitely not crying right now_.

And then Jeff wraps his arms around his waist and holds him close and kisses his forehead. And Nick is trying so hard not to cry, but Jeff is holding him so strong and warm, and no, he's _never_ had anyone comfort him like this before.

"Shh, it's okay," Jeff whispers into his hair. "It's okay, shh, don't cry."

He cries anyway. He thinks he maybe hears Jeff cry a little with him, though, and that almost makes it less humiliating for him.

And then, after several long minutes, they're lying back in bed, this time with Nick's head resting on Jeff's chest and Jeff's fingers carding through Nick's hair. Nick sniffles once and wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I'm sorry," he says and laughs humorlessly. "I don''t know what got into me."

"Don't be sorry," Jeff says. "You have nothing to be sorry for." He brushes Nick's dark hair back from his forehead and pulls him tight against his chest.

Nick closes his eyes and breathes in the smell of him, sweet and clean and undeniably _Jeff_. He inches his fingers up Jeff's shirt, tracing over the lines of his hipbones and the arch of his back. He can feel himself beginning to fall asleep, and he presses his lips over Jeff's heart as his breathing slows.

The last thing he hears before he falls asleep is Jeff humming soft and low in his ear.

"_Hey_, _it's Nick. Don't bother leaving a message unless you're Jeff, in which case you're probably already with me anyway."_ BEEP.

_"Nick, it's your mother. I don't appreciate you ignoring my calls. This is very important to me. It's bad enough that you won't be spending Christmas with the family, but this is your father's funeral, and I expect to see you there!"_

Nick deletes the message, her fourth that day, with the press of a button and collapses onto the couch. It's five days until Christmas, and his father's funeral is tomorrow. He sighs.

The first time she had called this morning, she gave him all the details about the ceremony. "It's a family event, just you and me and the extended family. Your father would've wanted it that way. And I'd like you to sing at the ceremony as well," she had said quickly.

"I'm not going. I can't believe you expect me to go," he had said, gritting his teeth to keep from shouting.

"Nick, he's your father-"

"No, he's not! He stopped being my father when he beat the shit out of me!" he yelled, and it was the first time either of them had said it out loud. He had hung up the phone then, though she didn't get the hint and called three more times.

He silences his phone.

"Nick, sweetie?" Laura calls from the kitchen. "Would you do me a huge, wonderful favor?" It's only the two of them in the house now, with Ted and Jeff running random errands and Jenna over at a friend's house.

"Of course," he answers. "What can I do?"

"It's less than a week until Christmas, and I am incredibly behind. Would you help me start wrapping presents for the family? Please?" she begs.

"Sure I will," he answers.

"Oh, thank you so much!" she says, kissing him on the forehead.

"Anything for you, Laura." He says this to be charming, but they both know that he really would do anything for her and her family.

And that's how he finds himself sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, surrounded by red and green wrapping paper and colorful bows while Laura sips from a glass of red wine.

"Nick, you are a godsend," she declares, and he laughs good-naturedly. "I'm absolutely serious. I can't get anyone to do anything around this house."

"Well, it's really the least I can do to repay you. Especially after all you've done for me," he adds, sticking a red bow to the top of one of Jenna's presents.

"Nick," she says as she takes the package from his hands, sets her wine glass on the coffee table, and takes his hands in hers. "You don't have to pay us back for anything. You know that right?" He doesn't say anything. "We _love_ having you here, and you can stay as long as you need to."

He sighs. "I know. It's just..." he trails off. "I don't want to seem like a burden."

She puts one hand on his cheek. "Sweetie, my son is in love with you. You're a part of this family now. You will _never_ be a burden."

He nods, smiling a watery smile, and she wraps him up in a warm hug because that's what families do.

"Now, let's get to work on these gifts," she says, taking another sip of wine and passing him another box.

* * *

><p>"What did she get me?" Jeff asks when he gets home. "I know you saw. Come on, tell me!"<p>

"I honestly don't remember," Nick says.

"That's a lie, and you know it. I came home, and you were covered in wrapping paper, and I know you saw all of my Christmas gifts, and you should just tell me!" he demands, stomping his foot.

"You know, nobody told me I'd be dating a seven-year-old."

"Well, now you know." He crosses his arms over his chest and sticks out his bottom lip slightly.

Nick smiles and nudges Jeff's shoulder. "Don't pout. You can wait five days." Jeff rolls his eyes and plops onto the couch. Nick sits next to him.

"So how was your day?" Nick asks, putting his hand on Jeff's knee.

"Great, except for the fact that Dad thinks it's necessary to make friends with every cashier in Ohio." He covers Nick's hand with his own. "And how was yours?"

Nick struggles with himself over whether or not to tell Jeff what happened. On one hand, he deserves to know the truth. On the other hand, he shouldn't have to worry about Nick any more than he already does.

"Fine," he says briefly.

Jeff raises an eyebrow. "Just fine?"

"Yes. Just fine." He nods.

"Nicky," he says softly, lacing their fingers together, "you can tell me." Nick had almost forgotten how perceptive Jeff can be when it comes to Nick sometimes, even if he may be completely clueless in every other area.

Nick hesitantly pulls out his cell phone, plays back the first few messages from his mom, and holds it up to Jeff's ear. Jeff listens intently and then stares incredulously.

"How many times did she call?"

"About five," he answers.

Jeff shakes his head and squeezes Nick's hand. "That's awful," he says. Nick just shrugs in response.

"Can I ask you something?" Jeff asks. "You don't have to answer, and you have full permission to tell me to piss off if you don't want to answer or it's too personal or something."

"Go ahead," Nick says.

"Did your mom like...know? I mean, that your dad had been...well, you know..." he trails off in frustration and gestures hopelessly with his hands. When Nick doesn't answer and drops his head, Jeff's eyes widen, and he says, "Actually, don't worry about it. Forget I said anything."

"No, no, it's fine!" Nick says quickly, squeezing his hand. "It's fine. I was just thinking."

He takes a deep breath. "I think she knew all along. She won't admit it, she says she didn't know until the day I left. But she did. I guess she just decided to push it to the back of her mind so she wouldn't have to accept it was actually happening."

"Just like I did," Jeff whispers shamefully.

Nick whips his head up and turns Jeff's chin towards him to look him in the eye. "What? No. No, _not_ like you. This was happening in her house, to her kid. She ignored it for her own reputation because no one wants to be known as the wife of a drunken bastard and the mother of a beaten gay teen. You are _not_ like her."

"That's not the points. I should have known. I could have done something!" he insists.

Nick shakes his head. "Please don't blame yourself. I'm not sure I could handle it if you did." He raises his other hand to cup Jeff's cheek and stroke his thumb over his cheekbone.

Jeff nods, and Nick thinks he sees a tear roll down his cheek. "I'm so sorry," Jeff says. "About what happened."

Nick nods and kisses his temple. "So am I."

* * *

><p>"You know what the worst part about him dying is?" Nick says over a bowl of ice cream. It's the day of the funeral, but his mother has only called once.<p>

"What?" Jeff asks, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"That he'll never have to pay for what he did. I didn't even get a chance to tell the police before he just decided to drop dead from alcohol poisoning," he says harshly. "And now he gets off easy while everyone else has to clean up the mess he left." He stabs his spoon into the mint chocolate chip.

Jeff is silent for a moment, but then he shakes his head. "Not quite."

Nick looks up in confusion. "What?"

"I think you're wrong."

"What do you mean you think I'm wrong?" Nick says irritably.

"I don't think he got off as easy as you say. I mean, think about it. He never got a chance to redeem himself or become a different person. He was a poor, sick bastard, and now that's all he'll ever be." He sets his spoon on the rim of his bowl.

"You, however, will be able to move on. It'll be hard. It might take a little while. But you'll be okay. You're strong. Stronger than he ever was."

And Nick kisses him right there, with chocolate on his bottom lip and his hands on either side of Jeff's face. He kisses him soft and slow, meshing their lips together and melting into him. When he pulls back, there are a million things he means to say, things like _thank you, I love you, please don't ever change_.

Instead he says, "You taste like cookie dough."

But Jeff knows what he means anyway.

* * *

><p>The next few days pass by in sort of a blur. His mother stops calling, and nobody even so much as mentions his father. And before any of them realize it, it's Christmas Eve.<p>

The Sterlings aren't particularly religious, but they are festive, each one of them dressed in red and green as the sit around the dinner table. Nick even lets Jeff wrap a striped scarf around his neck, even though it's warm inside the house.

He's never had anything quite like this before. He thinks he could get used to it.

The fireplace is crackling and sparkling while Jeff is belting out Mariah Carey Christmas songs, Jenna is adjusting the ornaments on the tree to be more "asthetically pleasing," and Ted and Laura are curled up together on the couch like they're sixteen again.

It's all so warm and inviting and mirthful. It feels like something he can't quite put his finger on. Like something new and unfamilar and utterly wonderful.

_Like home_, part of his mind supplies.

He leans up against the wall and smiles, and Jeff pulls him into his arms, and they sway together while Jeff hums softly. Jenna has fallen asleep on the floor, and Ted and Laura have retired to their room for the night. _It's a Wonderful Life_ plays softly on the television.

Jeff presses his lips to Nick's ear. "Come with me," he whispers, and he leads Nick up the stairs.

Jeff pulls Nick into his room, closing the door with a click. He gently pushes Nick down onto the bed and sits cross-legged beside him. Nick knows he looks anxious, but it's only because Jeff can be unpredictable, and he really doesn't like surprises.

"Don't worry," Jeff says. "You're gonna love it. I hope." He reaches across the bed to his nightstand where he searches through the drawer for a second before pulling out a slim box wrapped in silvery paper.

"Jeff, you didn't have to get me anything," he says.

"Shut up, yes, I did." He hands the package over to Nick. "Go ahead, open it." He rubs his hands together anxiously.

Nick unties the red ribbon wrapped all the way around the long, slim box. He rips through the paper and takes the lid off of the velvety black box. Inside is a small silver chain just big enough to fit around his wrist, and dangling from it is a shiny music note.

"I found it at the mall last week. I know it's not much, but-"

"I love it," Nick says earnestly.

"You do?" Jeff asks hopefully.

"Of course I do. It's beautiful." He pecks Jeff on the cheek. "Thank you."

Jeff beams and fastens the chain around Nick's wrist. "Well, that's not all. I have something else for you." Nick raises an eyebrow and smiles softly as Jeff reaches into his pocket and grasps something small in hi hand. He puts his closed fist in Nick's palm and drops the object into his hand.

A key.

"What's this?" he asks, staring down at it.

"It's, um, your house key."

Nick looks up at him. "My house key?" Jeff nods sheepishly. "To this house?" Jeff laughs quietly and nods again. Nick turns the key over in his hands.

"Yeah, I mean, I thought it was a pretty good idea. It's your house, too, you know." He puts his hand on Nick's wrist, gently stroking over the music note. "Now you'll always be able to come home." Jeff smiles nervously. "Do you like it?"

Of course he likes it. He _loves_ it. It's so perfect he wants to cry, and he _hates_ crying. It's so completely like Jeff to give a gift like a house key and somehow turn it into the sweetest thing Nick has ever received.

This past week has been a bitch for all of them, and Nick didn't anticipate Christmas being so _hard_ this year, but Jeff somehow keeps him from falling apart every time he's about to give up.

"It's perfect," he says, smiling the most genuine smile Jeff has seen on him in a long time. "Absolutely perfect."

And the Nick is setting the key on the nightstand and pressing Jeff back into the mattress. He settles his legs in between Jeff's, brushing his fingers through Jeff's hair and kissing him delicate and dreamy. He lets his fingers glide over Jeff's neck and shoulders while Jeff digs his thumbs into the grooves of Nick's hips.

Jeff pulls back and moves his mouth to Nick's ear. He presses a kiss below his earlobe and whispers, "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

And then nothing else from the past week matters at all. Because now it's Christmas Eve, and Jeff loves him, really loves him, and there's a music note around his wrist, and for the first time, he's _home._


End file.
